Stop trying to be my best friend. Please stop.
Cryptic asshole. You don’t make sense at all. Why do you expect me to understand or respect anything you say?
I’m so stupid to have even got into this mess.
Fuck.
That sentence literally ripped everything I knew and loved and chucked it garbage truck.
“I like you as a friend, I like us. I still love you, but not in the same way as before. And occasionally you can be a tad frustrating”
Well. I’m frustrating? Can we turn that frustration around and use it to make you fall in love with me again?
As far as I know you are a liar. You said you would never be another Fraser..then what the fuck is this?
I told him that I knew that the “getting back to old us” was wasting our time and he said, “You think staying friends is a waste of time?”
Yeah because that not at all what Fraser said, “Let’s be friends.” No. I will not be Tom from 500 days of summer and No we will not stay friends because I can’t help but be in fucking love with you. It killed me when I woke up this morning and remembered what you said.
Imagine what it will do to me when we are still “friends” and you get a girlfriend, whether it’s Jess or not. I know what it will to do me. There will be tears and I’ll get ill again.
This part.
(Source: chopsueycinema)
I feel really guilty for what I have done.
I lost something so important to him and it’s eating me alive. He told me not to lose it jokingly then told me he trusted me with it. I managed to lose it within one hour of getting it.
I care so much what he thinks. It’s impossible. We are now just getting back to our best friend habits and I have fucking ruined it. It’s unreal how much I miss him. I may never say it out loud but I miss him so much. Not as a boyfriend, just as a friend. I will admit to looking back on our amazing adventures out or our many quiet nights in when I’m lonely. Sometimes they help me. They remind me that I felt something back then when now I feel almost nothing. He is one of the best people I know, even though I act as though I hate him all the time and I call him every name imaginable.
I just don’t want him to hate me when I tell him. I reckon that would be it for me. I care so much about what he thinks about me because his words are sort of powerful? Idk.
I’ll let him know nearer the exams, when I don’t need to sit with him in computing knee to knee. I’ll do it during study leave. I’ll bake him his favourite cupcakes, buy him a card and put a letter inside explaining myself.
He’s happy now. We’re happy now and I can’t spoil things.
I’m not losing him again.
Sometimes.
I just want to sing and that is all. But then I think how stupid I am and carry on studying.
